Grief… What Exactly is Happening to Me?

November 27, 2019

After a personal loss twenty years ago I personally felt my ears ringing, I broke out in sweat and I was physically nauseated. The mere thought in advance of what actually happened took my breath away, so the actual event was not surprising to be similar. I had anticipated, dwelled on and decided it was unimaginable and then dismissed it as unconscionable. My mind had anticipated the feelings and paved the way.

Often when our loved one is gravely or receives a diagnosis with specific time limitations to grow worse or result in death, we begin our grieving at that moment. We think we are prepared but while it may not be a complete surprise, it is still a shock to our system.

Fear, guilt, sorrow, helplessness, anger, hopelessness, sadness, loneliness are not unusual reactions. How you respond to those reactions is important for your health. Internalizing feelings can accelerate the effect on you emotionally and physically. While anger may be a reasonable response for wrongdoing, it can become fueled and rage ensues. In a stage of rage, thinking and reactions are more impulsive and less focused on beneficial outcome.

You must take care if yourself first. Think of the flight attendant who instructs passengers to use the oxygen before administering it to children or elderly. If you are not taking care of yourself first, you cannot help your cause, or others.