The default for many people in the throes of grief is anger. Anger at others and anger at oneself. Angry that one is left to go through belongings, make decisions, complete paperwork, face court cases, arrange communication with family and friends, left behind to cope.

Grief over the loss of a loved one is a very personal intimate experience. It revolves around our relationship with the deceased, our life story, our season of life and what we believe about death.

After a personal loss twenty years ago I personally felt my ears ringing, I broke out in sweat and I was physically nauseated. The mere thought in advance of what actually happened took my breath away, so the actual event was not surprising to be similar.